As Long As I Have You
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: As long as they had one another, nothing else in the world mattered. Together as four, they could conquer any obstacle that tried to tear them apart.


**Yay! Today is the three-year anniversary of Big Time Rush! :D How about we throw a party in the sky and celebrate? Lol. Who's with me? :P I'm so proud of those boys; they really have come a long way, whether it is as musicians, actors, or as who they are in general, there is no doubt that they have grown. :) And I mean that in a positive matter. The fame hasn't changed them. They're the same down to earth guys we saw during the pilot episode of Big Time Audition. *sigh* I'm happy for them. I truly wish them the best in life, because I believe they deserve it.**

**I wrote this for the third year of BTR. It's not my best work, but I like how it came out. And yay! This is my sixtieth story. Haha. :D**

* * *

The pitter patter of the snow hitting my bedroom window scares me. Haunts me even so. Fear grips tightly at my chest and threatens to suffocate me with its mighty and powerful claws. I sit with my knees pulled up to my chest, shaking like a leaf in the autumn air. Something inside my head tells me to stay right where I am and not follow what my heart is telling me to do. My heart pulls me to the events of that afternoon. The afternoon that might just be the one that changed my life forever.

Why did I agree to go with that grumpy excuse of a producer called by the name of Gustavo Rocque? I have no idea. That's a question I don't think even I can answer. I think it had something to do with James and the way my friends kept pushing me to go to Hollywood and live the dream that James had always dreamed of having.

James' dream had always been to be a famous pop star. The thought of being in front of many people and putting on a show for them had always been something my older friend desired. Sure, going with Gustavo and becoming something big may have been the once in a lifetime chance for me. But what about James? I could never live with myself knowing I had taken what rightfully belonged to my best friend.

So what did I do? I somehow mixed my determination and boyish charm, and convinced Gustavo to not only take me but also James, Carlos, and Logan with him. I have no idea how it happened, because I was pretty darn sure that Gustavo would yell right in my face and tell me that he was in no way taking four hockey-playing best buds to Hollywood with him and making them a music group. Well, I was right about the yelling part. And I may have been right about the part where he said that he would not be taking all four of us to Hollywood, but that soon changed, for he said that he would give it a shot at this whole boy band thing.

Now I don't know if that was such a great idea. I mean, I kind of in a way took Logan and Carlos' dreams. Though, my two oldest friends seemed pretty hyped up when the idea slipped from my mouth, and they did say that if they had gotten the chance to go to Los Angeles with a giant, turd producer, they would have embraced it with open arms.

Maybe, this is what they want.

Maybe, this is what _all of us_ want.

I sigh and lie down on my bed, curling up into a small human ball against my mattress, holding my blanket closer to my shaking body, and finally letting the darkness consume me.

* * *

Adrenaline and excitement is coursing through my veins. I can't seem to sit still for even a second. Then again, when I have I ever been able to sit still for even a _millisecond_?

Jumping with happiness, I embrace my Mami and Papi in a hug. Tears threaten to leak from my caramel colored eyes and roll down my tan cheeks. Without a care in the world I let them fall. I know I will miss my parents dearly, but I also can't wait for the adventure that is waiting for me only hours away.

Breaking from the hug my two parents have around me, I wave to them one last time before running over to Kendall's house, which is just three houses away. I slip a couple of times on the frozen and wet ground, but I catch my balance before I can even hit the pavement.

Once in front of the Knights' residence, I don't even care to knock on the door; I simply barge in and make my way over to the couch, where there's a toasty fire burning in the chimney. The house is dead quiet. I grow curious. I'm pretty sure Kendall was expecting us over, so why would he fall asleep? Unless he's in his room doing something else rather than sleeping.

As quietly as I can, I make my way up the stairs to Kendall's room. I hold my hand to the doorknob for a couple of seconds, leaning my ear against Kendall's bedroom door to see if there is any sound that might indicate that my blond buddy is still awake. Oddly, I hear nothing.

Carefully, I open the door and walk inside. On his bed, Kendall is fast asleep, a soft and fluffy blanket wrapped tightly around his small body. I decide to let him sleep and trudge down the staircase and back into the living room. There, I wait for my two younger friends to arrive.

* * *

I close the door to my house behind me. Tears roll down my face and onto the collar of my warm winter jacket, but I don't bother to wipe them off, knowing very well that there are more to follow. I stuff my mitten-covered hands into the pockets of my jacket and walk down the front steps that lead to my house. Before crossing the street, I look back to my house and see my mom watching me through the window. I give her an 'I love you' sign and turn back around.

I look both ways before crossing the street, even though I know that it's nighttime and not many cars pass through my small neighborhood at night.

Playing with the little, loose string attached to my jacket, I lightly knock on the door with my other hand. I hear shuffling coming from inside and assume it is Kendall who is going to open the door for me. But when the door jiggles open, I am surprised to find Carlos on the other side. He wraps me in a warm hug and pulls me inside, muttering something about it being too cold outside.

"Where's Kendall?" I whisper silently, fearing that I might awaken Mama Knight and Katie.

"Sleeping," Carlos answers as he raises a finger to his lips. He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me to the couch in the living room, not even giving me a chance to question him as he pushes me to sit down. He takes a seat beside me and curls up on the couch. "Let's wait for James," he mumbles before closing his eyes. I roll my chocolate brown orbs and lay down next to him, the warmness of the house succumbing me into a light sleep.

* * *

"James Diamond, I forbid you to go, and that is final. No arguments. Go to your room this instant!"

I feel my legs shake from underneath me, threatening to knock me over. My hands are shaking as well. My lip quivers, and the only noise slipping past my lips are tiny whimpers of sadness as I look into the eyes of the woman who raised me.

"Mom, this has been my dream for as long as I can remember. You c-can't take this away from me." I know my voice is shaking and that salty, crystalline tears are screaming to set free, but that doesn't matter to me. The stern look my mom gives me lets me know that I am not winning this battle. I should just give up and go up to my room. But then, something from the night before comes and smacks me in the face.

_Now remember, opportunities like these come once in a lifetime. Now grab on to that dream with both hands and go BIG TIME!_

I have a feeling that my best friend's words will forever be burned into my head. That's just how Kendall is. He motivates me to move forward and not let anyone or anything bring me down. It's who he is, and for that I am extremely grateful to have him in my life.

"I'm going, mom."

I push past my mother and walk out of the door, not even bothering to look back and see her response. I don't care. This is my dream, not hers. She has no right to stop me from achieving what I have always dreamed about having.

I walk to Kendall's house in the freezing cold without a jacket. I am welcomed inside with two hugs and a shove to the couch. I look up at both of my older friends with confusion and open my mouth to speak, but a voice stops me.

"Guys?"

Kendall is standing near the staircase with a fluffy blanket wrapped around his body. His eyes look from me, to Logan, and then to Carlos, only to repeat the cycle all over again. Before I can stop myself, I lunge forward and wrap my arms tightly around him, finally letting the tears fall. He clutches onto me as tightly as I clutch onto him, if not tighter. His whole body shakes in my grasp, and it takes me only a second or two to realize that he too is sobbing into my chest while clinging to the back of my sweater with his nails.

"K-Kendall? Are you okay?" I whisper in his ear. He looks up at me with an earthshattering look; eyes filled with tears and fear.

"I… I'm scared," he says right before burying his face against my chest once again and holding me close. "I don't want things to change. I don't want _us_ to change."

"We won't," Carlos and Logan speak at once. I look back to them and so does Kendall. I can see the hint of a smile attempting to pull his pink lips upward.

"Promise?" he asks. I nod and pull him impossibly closer.

"We promise, buddy."

The rest of that night we spend it on the couch, all of us wrapped in each other's embrace until the wee hours of the morning. It's after that event that I realize that as long as I have my brothers by my side, everything will be just fine.

* * *

**Did anyone notice that last line? It reminded me of Memories and Melodies… If you don't know what I'm talking about, then go look up the song on YouTube. It's sung by Kendall. :)**

**What were your thoughts on this? Before I go, how about I share five fun facts about me just for the fun of it? Let's see…**

**Fun Fact #1: I have three kitties, named Miau, Smokey, and Peluchín. Miau is eight years old, Smokey and Peluchín are both three, but Smokey is older.**

**Fun Fact #2: In case you don't know this, I am Mexican… well, my mother and father were both born in Mexico; I was born in the US.**

**Fun Fact #3: I LOVE… ORGANIC CHOCOLATE! I blame Kendall for this, because he got me to try it. Well not really, but he eats all organic food, so I decided to give it a try, and… Oh my gosh. I fell in love with organic chocolate. Like, no joke. IN LOVE!**

**Fun Fact #4: I am an only child, and it sucks BIG TIME. No pun intended.**

**Fun Fact #5: I guess it's okay if I share this with you guys, because I know you guys won't judge me, but I am half blind. And by that, I mean that I am completely blind from my right eye and can't really see that well with my left. No one said life was all rainbows and unicorns. :/**

**That's it for my five fun facts. See ya later alligators! :D**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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